Okay so all over the Media,
All around my school,
Teenagers everywhere
There is something really on on everyone's mind: Sex.
Teenagers are always talking about having sex. I mean, Secret Life of the American Teenager is basically an entire hour every week where teenagers plot how to get everyone in bed with each other and the consequences of their actions haven't been very realistic despite the fact that a character is pregnant.
I mean, every TV show is about Sex, every song is all about sex. Kids today are having sex at younger and younger ages. by age 19 7 out of 10 teenagers have engaged in sexual intercourse.
I cannot name how many teenagers I've known that have had sex over the past years while I was in high school. but I also can't name how many teenagers I've known to get pregnant or have pregnancy scares while in high school which has been scarry.
Some teenagers I've known have been wise enough to take precautions before having sex and have used birth control religiously. But 52% of teenagers have admitted to not using protection while having sex, and 24% of teenagers with an STD say they STILL have unprotected sex! A sexually active teen who does not use contraceptives has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within a year.
the most recent episode of Degrassi has character Jenna and KC dealing with an unexpected pregnancy after not using protection one time.
Even though sexual education is taught in schools, I don't think that knowing about sex and contraception is the simple answer. Teenagers don't know how to make long term decisions and also don't really have much reason to NOT have sex.
Yes there are lot's of Health reasons to wait and contraception tends to be the easy answer for the physical effects of having sex. But the emotional effects aren't always being taken into consideration by a teenager, or the long term results of being sexually active, or the psychological effects on their views of relationships.
People don't like to know about my opinion. Nobody cares about my opinion because all I am is a teenager that is right out of high school. but I know how everyone LOVES facts. so here is what I know:
Sexual activity or in fact any sort of physical contact with other human beings helps to release a chemical known as Oxytocin. It is a natural maternal chemical that is released after giving birth to help a mother bond with their child. This same chemical is released during orgasm and smaller amounts are released when you become aroused, make out, kiss, or hold hands.
Even though this is a maternal chemical men also release it just in smaller quantities and also in teenagers when hormones are raging the levels of this chemical tends to not be easily regulated.
This is, scientifically, why when couples have sex, the partners tend to become "clingy" and this makes it all the more devastating when a couple breaks up.
Also the concept of "love" amongst teenagers, most teens would say "We're in love! and love=sex" However, with the imbalance of the Oxytocin chemical and the hormones of teenage puberty going absolutely out of control, Who is to know that your feelings are that of true love? or perhaps they are the feelings of growing up as a teenager.
I mean, when I was 13 I thought I was totally "in love" with a boy in my class! ((of course he didn't know I existed)) and then when I was 15 I was "in love" with my first boyfriend. But how am I supposed to think that was true love when I was still growing up and my hormones had more control over my mind then my true emotions and rational thinking?
It doesn't help when almost every couple on TV is having sex in their "healthy" relationships as if it's how you make a relationship "official", and when the relationship breaks down, the consequences of their actions tend to be minimal.
Teens who see and hear a lot about sex in the media may be more than twice as likely to have early sexual intercourse as those who are rarely exposed to sexual content.
Why? Because sometimes, these media teens are the only example kids in the real world have to help guide their relationship struggles.
This is because parents don't REALLY talk to their teenagers about sex. Lot's of parents don't know what to say and usually end up saying "Don't have sex." with "Because I said so." being the only reason.
and the Christian fundamentalists tend to simply say "Don't have sex until you're married." with "Because God said so." being their only reason.
Talk to your kids! Be REAL Be HONEST and tell them the TRUTH
Parents, I'm about to expose a dirty little secret that some of you may have: Your husband or wife (or your child's father or mother) probably wasn't the only person you had sex with.
I know parents are supposed to set an example by being the example but it's okay to be an example of what not to do as well! and for the parents that waited until they were married, explain the child the benefits you have had in your relationships by having sex with only your husband (For example never having to explain sexual history)
If your honest with your kids, you'll have an easier time getting them to be honest with you about their sexual experiences and what questions they have. If they aren't afraid to come to you, the ones that are sexually active will be less likely to engage in sex without protection for fear of parents finding their contraception- or even better maybe your words and honesty will be what's needed for them to understand why they may not really be ready.
Also be involved in their relationships. Be sure to invite over the boyfriends and girlfriends of your kids and try to at least shake hands with the parents, or invite them to dinner.
that's the key to preventing the mistakes lot's of teenagers make: Communication!
Teenagers I'm going to ask you to take a VERY awkward but beneficial first step: Ask your parents about WHY you shouldn't have sex or how old where they when they first had sex and tell them to be honest with you because trust goes both ways. And just suck it up and be honest with your parents by the way. Them being temporarily disappointed in you is a lot better than you ending up a parent for the rest of your life.
That's all I have to say for now. and I hope you all learned something from this especially since I'm a teenager myself and this is my perspective.
Now.... why are you still reading? Chop Chop! Get to talking!
Sources
http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/relationships.aspx
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/27706917/
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html
