Sunday, January 31, 2010

Number Two: Get a Tattoo


Tattoo Ideas


This is not a hard one for me to attain. So far I've sent a lot of letters and posted on Adam Lambert's facebook page about going to the gay club so no luck yet. Too bad. It'll happen.

These are the designs of the tattoos I'm planning to get. The Hebrew symbol is the first one I'm getting. But after that I'm trying to decide between the angel wings or the Bible Verse. I don't know which one to do get. What do you think?

XOXO
Riah

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Film Photography by my own hand

black and white,film
black and white,film
black and white,film
black and white,film
black and white,film
black and white,film
black and white,film
this one was the first one I took with a different type of camera. Lighting got REALLY tricky at this point... no flash allowed
black and white,film
I used a filter on this one. Think it helped?
black and white,film
black and white,film
black and white,film
this one wasn't taken by me it was taken by my friend Patria using my model.
black and white,film
black and white,film



I don't have a scanner so I put these up by using my digital camera to take a picture of them and put them up from there.

These were taken with film. I know. I didn't even know they still MADE film! It kinda shocked me a bit. I wasn't sure what to do. This was the first time I ever tried taking pictures with a black and white film camera so obviously my pictures aren't very high quality but I'll learn right?
Any pointers and constructive criticism is encouraged. 

XOXO
Riah

Friday, January 29, 2010

Happy Hippo from a Cloud Cult


I like my happy hippo-pot-a-mus,
she's sleeping under my, matt-er-us.
She shows me Jesus at the bottom of a colt 45!
Oh me oh my, hey my my.

Uh oh oh oh, Uh oh oh oh, Uh oh oh oh
Hey, my my

I like my happy hippo-pot-a-mus,
She leads the way leads the way leads the way leads the,
I'm always wonderin' why shes wonderin' why I'm wonderin' why, I don't know why,
Hey, my my.

Uh oh oh oh, Uh oh oh oh, Uh oh oh oh
Hey, my my

Hey hey, my my
Best learn to live while you're a alive
All you've got is what it gave you
And it can take it way
My my, hey hey
Hey hey, my my
You'd best learn to live while you're alive
It's better to burn out than to fade away
My my, hey hey

I've been lost in the intensity

Yeah I'm so sorry. I've been so stressed with school that I haven't had ANY time to blog and let you all know how my life has been going. (I'm sorry!) This weekend I will put up another post of something I want to do before I die, another installment of Agape Angel, and some of my amateur photography.
I promise it will be worth it!
I Love you all
XOXO
Riah

Friday, January 22, 2010

AGAPE ANGEL: Part one- Angels Vs Demons

Behind my wings I hide
from the world outside
from the trails that await my life
to avoid the hypocrisy
to refrain from the hell
of all those that lie to wish you well

"we are all angels,"
the demons laugh
"we are the ideal so you are last,
we are perfection
image of righteousness."
Yet I watch them indulge
in this world's sin.

I follow your religious rituals
Pray to your self righteous perfection
I'm under your spell
Are you God or Satan?
Is this hell or heaven?

I'm surrounded by darkness
I cannot see
We have become
Pharisees

The tear feathers of the innocent wings of their child
for they don't deserve salvation from themselves
My feathers on the ground
drenched in blood
I pray for salvation
for my time to come

My holy leader's eyes
glazed over with hate
He stands in the way
of salvation's gate
Are you God or Satan?
Is this hell or Heaven?
Can love ever reign again?

Pick and Choose
Angel    Demon
Worthy    Worthless
Sinner    Righteous

Who are you?
Demon or Angel?
Righteous or Humble?

I thought he was sent to save not condemn
Are we to make the choices for him?

I follow your guidelines,
Laws,
and I feel something is wrong
on the brink of innocence
Justice vanishes into the mist.

Now I'm on the brink of condemnation
Barely Seeking Imperfection
My Blood is deemed unclean
I cry to the heavens
to have my soul demonically redeemed

Angel or Demon?
Which are my wings?
Starting tonight! The 1st edition of my poetry series: Agape Angel! Ask everyone you know to follow my blog so they can see it!

Monday, January 18, 2010

The Buried Life Crashes a Party at The Playboy mansion!

Mondays are effing GOOD TV NIGHTS!!!
My DVR records like crazy because all the good shows are on at once!

How I Met Your Mother,
Secret Life of the American Teenager,
Make It or Break It,
 and two new shows:
The Buried Life and
My Life as Liz

the last two are MTV shows, and normally, I don't watch MTV because the shows are shallow and superficial but The Buried Life is absolutely AMAZING.

Four guys have a list of things they want to do before they die and so in this series they set out to do it! while they are on their journey they try to help out at least one person they meet on the street that has a dream to accomplish and they help them with it.

On the boys list:

Crash a party at the play boy mansion

On the stranger's list:

they met a teacher that wanted to make a difference in his carter school.
The boys raised enough money to buy the teacher a new mac computer and spoke to the class about living their dreams. Made me think, I wanna live my dreams.

          [random tweet from twitter]
                        VVVV 



Omgsh. The Buried Life is amazing :) It makes me want to get up and do something!

cayceleigh
 ^^^^
[I don't know this person. they don't know me.... is there a copyright issue with this?]


So, My next post will have a list of insane crazy things I wanna do before I die.


About the playboy mansion: They succeeded. dressed as Oopaloomas. You gotta see it to believe it because that was EPIC.

 I end this post with a single question:

What do you want to do before you die?

XOXO
Riah

Friday, January 15, 2010

Baby you will never hear my heart beating


I remember when I first met you, I knew exactly how I felt right away.

I knew you were intelligent, kind, funny, friendly, and in search of truth and living like God. I know all of this within the first 30 seconds of when we first spoke. When I first looked at you.

I knew at that moment I loved you, But I didn't want to say anything to you. I knew better than to allow myself to fall in love with you and make attempts to make you mine. That's what I did when I was younger. But I knew that I wanted more with you than a random boyfriend that I'd lose within a few weeks.

I wanted to be closer to you. So instead of flirting with you, I talked to you, instead of asking you out, I hung out with you, Instead of trying to make you my boyfriend, I focused on us being friends. That's the relationship I wanted. I figured that I'd rather have you as a friend forever than a boyfriend for a week.

As time continued to pass, I learned how to talk to you. How to communicate and have a conversation. I wanted so badly nothing more than to know you and understand you. I wanted to be the person you'd learn to confide in, and I'd be able to confide in you.

I loved being next to you as you played your guitar, our conversations scented by the tobacco in your pipe ((That's right readers. 20 years old and smokes a pipe XD)), teasing you about random inside jokes, hanging out with our friends by the lake at your place at midnight, sitting next to you and our friends at church.....

I've treasured every memory.

After a while, our separate lives came between us, our interactions becoming more and more rare. I decided that perhaps it was the tome for my feelings for you to come to pass, and now just isn't the time.

I prayed to God to redirect my mind and heart into a new focus, Although my thoughts redirected to more productive ways to use my emotional and mental energies, my feelings remained....

God tells me to maintain my patience, the time is coming and when it happens, the timing will be perfect. He won't tell me for certain that you are the one just yet, He says me not knowing is all a part of the process of patience I'm supposed to practice.

But if it all turns out that you are the one, I want this to be the only secret I ever keep from you, for the sake of our current friendship. If it turns our that you are not the one, I want this, again, to be the only secret I ever keep from you. for the sake of our current friendship and future friendship, that I pray will only grow.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I Love you

'ave a beer

Wo ie ni

Je t'aime

Ich liebe Dich

S' ayapo

Main tumse pyar karti hun

Kuv Hlub Koj
 
dai suki desu

Ego te amo

Ya lyublyu tebya

Waan kujeclahay

Te amo




          

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

So everyone,
I have a poll off to the side asking what you want to see more of in my blog. Please do me a solid and vote! :) thank you!
XOXO
Riah

Monday, January 11, 2010

Hmong Culture Article

ThreeSixty: Hmong, old and young, worry that culture is dying out

A box of red, white and blue cupcakes is set on the table. In broken English and heavy accents, the group of Hmong elders at the Hmong American Partnership sing "Happy 73rd Birthday" to Kia Vang.

Since arriving in the United States in the 1970s, the Hmong have attempted to adapt to Western culture. They have encouraged the younger generation to learn English, go to college and even run for political office.
But at the same time, some fear that their traditions are fading away with each generation.

Seated with her friends, Kia Vang said she is happy about opportunities for education in America -- especially for women. But she worries that young people are forgetting their language and traditions.
"We wish that America accommodated to our traditions, but we like the American way of doing things ... it's simpler," the women said through an interpreter.

Hmong came to the United States as refugees from Thailand, Laos and China after the Vietnam War. Roughly 180,000 Hmong live mostly in California, Wisconsin and Minnesota. About 27,000 Hmong live in Minnesota, with the vast majority in the Twin Cities.

In Laos, people had very low education levels, and girls were not permitted to go to school, Men were the leaders; women stayed home, were more submissive and had almost no authority. Bao Vang, executive director of the Hmong American Partnership, said that she was not allowed to go to school as a child in her homeland, but that her brothers could.

But now, America has blurred the lines of possibilities for Hmong men and women, said Ka Vang, diversity programs director for Minnesota State Colleges and Universities.

Hmong women are going to school, getting jobs and heading toward careers. Some men stay home to take care of the children and don't have the leadership roles that they had in their homeland. Hmong parents are now pushing education on all of their children so they can have a better life here.

Sen. Mee Moua, DFL-St. Paul, came to United States from Laos when she was 9. Trained in public policy and law, Moua is the nation's first Hmong-American legislator.
Moua described her parents as "traditional but very liberal."


"[They] made sure children knew the food and language [of their culture]," Moua said. "[They] had a preference to keep culture in the family but [have been] growing more into the American lifestyle."
Her parents pushed her to pursue high education as a child, but did not expect for her to become a senator.
However, the elders and youth of the Hmong community feel that the more Americanized the people become, the more their culture is dying.

"The longer you live here, a piece of your culture will die," Bao Vang said.
Hmong traditions include eating rice, vegetables and meat at every meal. Weddings are elaborate three-day celebrations with dowries and ethnic gifts. Funerals are three-day ceremonies with animal sacrifices and prayers to ancestors.

Some of the elders at the Hmong American Partnership said it's not as easy to maintain these rituals and traditions now that the Hmong live in America. For example, some families must get traditional Hmong clothing from Thailand or Laos for various celebrations or rituals.

Aprill Moua, 17 and a senior at Arlington High School in St. Paul, is very adamant about making sure that she keeps Hmong culture and traditions.

"I'm so scared that my culture is dying," Moua said. "If I don't keep up with my culture it's all going to die."
Moua, an honors student, said she loves being a Hmong woman, but at the same time, she doesn't let that get in the way of new opportunities America has to offer, including college.

She said she feels pressure to keep up with Hmong traditions. She is active in the community, attends weddings and funerals, and knows how to cook traditional foods. She speaks English and Hmong, but chooses to speak Hmong at every opportunity whether it's at home, school or with other Hmong friends.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

the rule of Se7en

 Ha So.... I'm sorta feelin like my blog is unloved. I have very very very few followers.... It really is quite sad XD

I got tagged so now I gotta say se7en things about me sooo.....

1. I'm freaking obsessed with purple. It's my favorite color and I wear it literally every day no lie.

2. I really really really like a guy right now that is never going to ever know because I'm afraid to tell him ((Do not try to convince me to get over my fear and tell him because it's not going to change my mind about him)) and if if refer to him it will be by Kain. But he will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever know that I feel this way about him.


3. My favorite candy is Skittles. I will abandon ALL SANITY for a pack of Skittles.

4. I can't stand High School kids. Even though I'm in high school I want nothing more than to graduate be done and go to college where I can be around people that aren't so immature and trivial and I can have an intellectual conversation.

5. I HATE  Twilight. OMG seriously everyone thinks that just because I dress a little darker than the other kids at my school I must love Twilight. But no. Seriously I read "I am deeply and utterly in love with Edward Cullen." It wasn't even halfway through the book. I threw that thing across the room. Like, really? No. Just.... No....... No.......However. I think Taylor Lautner the best thing to happen to Twilight and I only like New Moon because he gets to be shirtless.....Nuff said...


6. My favorite bands consist of Flyleaf, Cloud Cult, The Antlers, Annuals, Clinker, The Kills and Gossip. My favorite station is called The Current. It's the best. I like underground music for the most part but most of these bands have started rising to fame...  ((Flyleaf is totally in the mainstream now actually. I knew them when they were Passerby))

7. I try really hard not to eat meat. Not a simple task at home but everywhere else I do pretty well outside of the home. I'll post my reasoning on that in the future.


Here are Se7en People I'm tagging to now you all gotta say 7 things about yourselves

http://sup3rgirlinlove.blogspot.com/
http://cupcakesniper.blogspot.com/
http://indigoteacup.blogspot.com/
http://joeyishellagood.blogspot.com/
http://colormenana.blogspot.com/
http://violetbellasworld.blogspot.com/
http://honeybeeinthecity.blogspot.com/

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Both ends of the World

Alright so Thursday for CIS ((College In Schools)) Writing and Literature
We went to the University of Minnesota to meet up with all the other students in the state taking this class.
Everyone had read the book "The Late Homecomer" written by Kao Kalia Yang. It's the story of a Hmong woman's life as her family adjusted to our American culture here in Minnesota and how she has found out who she is as a Hmong American woman



If you've never heard her speak before you have missed out for sure. Kao Kalia is one of the most inspirational writers and speakers I'd ever heard. Her words are amazingly poetic.

At one point during this event, we were separated into groups of about 10 students, all from different schools.
My group was all filled with white kids, I was the only person of color in my group.

If you haven't caught it yet, I'm not white. I'm also not Hispanic. Actually, I'm black.
Okay well, I'm white, but I'm mixed. My dad's black and my mother is white and I grew up most of my life in white suburban neighborhoods and schools up until I started High school and moved to a more urban city and transferred into an inner-city school.

Problem is, I know that when people look at me, they don't see the black. When my friends look at me, they see everything I'm not. I mean, admit it, how many of you when you saw my senior photos thought I was black? I'm sure none of you huh?

When I was in that group of people, I knew that none of them even suspected that I was black. They looked right at me and thought either white or Hispanic, and I wished so badly that I was a better representation of my race and culture.

I was so envious of Kao Kalia and how she was able to speak to the world about her culture of Hmong ((Highly underrepresented Asian ethnicity)) but I don't have anything to represent fully. I'm shortcoming at least one of my races no matter what I do.

I got an article assignment about these types of topics for the 2010 Census because this is going to be the first time that people will be able to check more than one box when they say what race they are and with mixed races becoming more and more common so quickly, in 40 years will race even matter anymore with this melting pot in our society?

I'll make sure to post my information about the articles I write throughout the next month or two.

Post again soon
XOXO
~*Riah

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

two years from a 2nd chance.....

 *WARNING
Story can be a little intense or sad.



My memory of that day is very foggy....I was 15 years old....
everything was spinning out of control....
I couldn't breathe.....
I went into my room and like I had done a thousand times before I removed a sharp blade from my pink make-up pouch....
took it over my arm...

I think you can gather what happened next can't you?

I went out into the living room and my mom saw my arm... I wouldn't stop bleeding.
She said that she'd had enough of this and to go pack some clothes 'cuz I'm going into a psych ward....

That day changed my life.

Most cutters spend about 5-7 days in their inpatient unit at the hospital...

I spend 2 weeks....
then 3 weeks in outpatient treatment....


Wanna know something though?
I'm still addicted to cutting. and I always will be. But that does not mean I give in to it anymore.

I no longer cut myself....

I know a lot of teenagers do it, and they think it makes them feel better,
but when you need it like a drug, you can't function without it, you'll even do it for no reason without a trigger.... to the point where you don't care who you hurt in the process....

Until you've been there. You don't know.


I Love that I don't cut anymore.
I love that I can smile and it can be real.
I love that I cry instead.

I went in there exactly TWO years ago today....

and I died that day.
I killed myself,
I killed the way I used to be.

Since I came out of that cage of depression
I've become a whole new person.
I started going to church more (hence my very religious mindset)
and I made lot's of amazing friends since the experience....

I hit rock bottom....

and now the only way to go is up.



There is a huge difference between 15 and 17
Two years gave me a second chance.

"Never to suffer would be never to had been blessed."- Edgar Allan Poe 

 and how I've been blessed......
I have some amazing friends...
amazing support....
and life has become just one blessing after another

All I can say:

To everyone that has ever been depressed
To everyone that has ever hurt themselves
To everyone that has ever attempted suicide:

There is HOPE
the tears can never last forever


I Love you all
XOXO
Riah

Monday, January 4, 2010

Joanna Gail Photography- Senior Photos

She is quite an amazing and talented photographer. <3






http://joannagail.blogspot.com/
Hey Bloggers!
Sorry i haven't posted that much lately. I've been extremely busy with a research essay for my CIS class. Expect posts wednesday. XOXO
~Riah

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Beautiful Bride-Body of Christ



Today was so beautiful.

Two very precious friends of mine bound their hearts together in marriage.
It was beautiful.
Absolutely Beautiful.
It wasn't overly elaborate,
It was held in a theater where the groom does a lot of dance performances,
and everyone brought food in contribution to the reception,
everything very sentimental.

I haven't mentioned, I live near an urban Mennonite community where we belive in living peacefully, simply, and in community. I'm planning on moving into one of the community houses after graduation but I'll elaborate more on that later on in my blogging experiences. It was two members of our community that got married.

The bride was so beautiful, I nearly cried as she walked down the aisle, and the groom took her hand...
They looked into each others eyes... I knew they were right... I knew they were forever....
They engaged in an intimate foot washing ceremony... the vulnerability they allow...

By the end of the ceremony we were all crying or near tears.....

The ceremony was not only a ceremony of their love, but a reflection on everyone in our congregation and community as how we are all bound to each other in love and we all are to help each other, contribute to each other, and we are all one body.

 I've worried a lot lately,
that I won't be able to have a healthy loving relationship considering the example I have to live with in my parents. I worried that my parents divorce would be a neverending cycle, and if I got married I'd end up the same way...

But no....

looking at the two of them tonight I knew...

My parents were not truly in love.

It's not a selfish petty take all for yourself,
It's an ultimate giving up yourself for others,
becoming a servant,
allowing vulnerability,
and becoming one body.

If one part of the body is sick,
the entire body is sick.

I'm learning so much about love lately.....

I want to live in the ways of love.


Love is verb.

I love you in the name of the man I mimic, Jesus Christ.
XOXO
~*Riah*~

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year 2010

Hey Everyone...
And by everyone I mean Lex and Cris and sadly... myself....
it's pretty pathetic to be following myself...
I'm sorry about it having issues with the comments section. I'll fix that ASAP. it's probably issues with the layout I'm sure it'll be better if I fix it.
If anyone knows where I could get a good layout let me know.
email me at mdavis023@stpaul.k12.mn.us

So Today was pretty alright. I went shopping for new clothes.


It was between these two dresses
I bought the purple one. Pretty cute right? I think I made the right choice.
I also got black hair clips and a cardigan.

I also bought some good make-up to go with it.

I have two little sisters.
We caught a late movie and saw Princess and the Frog.
Best part of children's movies late night?

EMPTY THEATERS!

It was SO much fun!
We just danced around and sang during all the songs,
We laid down on the carpet in front of the screen,
munching on popcorn and skittles drinking pepsi....

The ushers would come in to check on the room
and see us yelling at the screen

Gotta admit,
the movie was a little stereotypical.

It's set in New Orleans in some time like... I dunno the 40's maybe? I actually have no idea. haha.
but the black people were poor and participated in voodoo.


The lead character
Tiana,
is a really hard worker.
loses her social life
doesn't have a love life
the only thing she knows is how to overwork to acheive her dreams


That's exactly how I am.
I've been working all winter break on my essays and projects.
I've been forgetting to relax......

my friend, we are going to call him Mikey, is always telling me that...
He calls me up and I'm busy working on homework...

New Years Resolution??

LIGHTEN UP!!!
CHILL OUT!!!
HAVE FUN!!!

Riah,
YOU WORK TOO HARD!!!


Well,
This is how I'm going to start off my New Year!<3
Love the 2010
<3 <3 <3


~*Riah*~

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