Thursday, January 27, 2011
This is why Stephen King is my forever best friend :D
"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."
"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off." "
"The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear."
"God is cruel. Sometimes he makes you live."
"Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty."
"Fiction is the truth inside the lie. "
"No, it's not a very good story - its author was too busy listening to other voices to listen as closely as he should have to the one coming from inside. "
"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real difference is that [Harry Potter author] Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and [Twilight author] Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."
and to top off my absolute adoration towards King.....
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
a confession all in Hmong
Kuv xav nrog koj Kuv me qaj zib Thov khaws kuv nplooj siab zoo zoo Koj yog ib puav tsam yam Nplooj siab/tus hlub Thov tuam kuv txhais tes Kuv tsis paub tiasis kuv nyiag hlub koj Kuv xav nrog koj Kuv xav nrog koj Kuv xav nrog koj. Kuv Nco Koj Kuv Nco Koj Kuv Nco Koj. Kuv tsis paub tiasis kuv nyiag hlub koj. Puas kam los ua kuv tus hlub nab yuam?
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Pit bull, the Hooker, and the Casino.
Okay so you know how I've been sick and hanging out in my room all sick and whatnot and watching Dexter?
Well, my friend Bobby was talking to me on Facebook and mentioned he was going on an adventure
"I think I may depart on an adventure shortly... Maybe."
"LOL yay adventure! Go Dora!" I responded
"Ha. Not quite dora. I have forty free bucks at mystic so I might just go use those. You're welcome to join if you'd like. I gotta be back by about 9"
I pondered the idea for a while....
"I've never been to a casino"
"Do you have a state ID?"
"Yup"
"Come out to the heights parking lot in two minutes."
"Okay. wait for me. I'm just gunna get dressed."
So I went out to the parking lot with Bobby and met him in his car. We started driving to Mystic Lake Casino all the way from Saint Paul. All of the sudden, Bobby's car starts to tilt and Bobby pulls off to the side of the highway.He get's out and looks at his car and the front tire is completely flat. He drives a block down to a Super America and into the parking lot.
Bobby looks at the tire again and it's totally shredded up. Bobby's spare tire was given to his mother about a week ago. He goes inside the SA trying to see if anyone could help but it's a Sunday night, there's no place to buy a new tire at this time of day on a Sunday. So when people with a five bolt car that's the right size came into the parking lot Bobby and I started asking around to see if anyone would help us out and we'd pay them for it but people were really unwilling to help a couple of stranded teenagers out. Meanwhile I called my grandmother to see if she had any ideas, then I called one of my friends that live in the area to see if he could help out but no luck either way.
I looked at Bobby "I really hope we get out of here soon. I am really scarred in the suburbs. People all think they should be afraid of the cities because of the gangs and such, but no I'm scarred of the suburbs. Gangs you know who they are when you see them and you know who to keep an eye on, but the suburbs have crazies and you don't know who the damn crazies are when you see them!"
Bobby laughed at this statement but as if to prove my point a huge suburban pulled up next to us and the guy rolled down his window. He was scrawny and pale and his eyes where horribly wide.
"Do you wanna buy something off us?" He asked. That moment I knew, he's a dealer. and from the way we was twitching I could tell he was also a tweaker. Bobby and I didn't get a chance to answer before the kid asked "Do you need any help?"
"Yeah," Bobby answered. "We need a spare tire. Think you could help us out?"
The tweaker kid jumped out of the car and was wearing a huge jumpsuit that could fit two more of him inside. He took a green light and flashed it into our faces.
"yeah yeah We can get you a tire. What'll you give us for it?"
"Thirty bucks." Bobby responded
"Ya got Fifty?" Tweak asked.
"No we only have thirty between the two of us."
"Alright well I got this one power tool. It can take a tire on an off instantly no problem. we're going to go look for a tire. and you try to see what else you can give us for it. Ya got a jack?"
"Yeah." Bobby said.
"Pop the trunk." Tweak commanded. Bobby popped the trunk and tweak yanked that jack out so quickly you wouldn't even know Bobby had it in the first place. Tweaker kid jumped back into his car. "We'll be back soon! Don't go anywhere! I mean it don't go nowhere!" and they were off.... with our car jack.
We took the license plate down of the car just in case.
"Bobby." I said. "they just took your jack. If they come back with a tire it's totally legit for us to assume that they stole it."
I continued to try calling friends and Bobby kept asking people in the parking lot if they had a spare tire they'd be willing to sell us. All of the sudden, the suburban pulled back into the parking lot and parked next to us. We thought for sure that if they had returned then they must have brought the tire.
The tweaker rolled down his window and looked at us. We rolled down ours as well. He stared at us for about 10 seconds not saying anything. Just starting.
"What up?" He finally answered.
"Hey." Said me and Bobby.
"So man, we found a friend who can get us a tire for ya. Just... Yeah you get in the car with me and we'll get the tire. I'll have my girl wait with your girl here and yeah we'll be right back.
Bobby agreed and was just about to get out of the car when I stopped him.
"Fake names." I whispered. "I'm Mina. What's yours?"
"Josh." He said getting out of the car.
The girl got in the car with me and she and I had a great conversation all about school, and how she hates the color green, and how apparently she's a prostitute.
A little while later Bobby and the tweaker came back and the hooker girl got out of Bobby's car and into the suburban. Not before exchanging numbers with me. the Suburban took off and Bobby got back into the car.
"We need to get the fuck out of here!" He said.
"Yeah I know." I said. Bobby was shaking at this point.
"No! We need to get the fuck out of here!"
Turns out while I was having a great conversation with a prostitute, Bobby got into the car with the tweaker and heard a growl behind him. Bobby looked back and saw a huge pit bull sitting in the back seat.
"Oh my god!" He yelled.
"Aw don't worry man that's just shooter. He doesn't like people."
They pulled into a hotel parking lot and got out of the car. Tweaker looked at Bobby and pointed to a room in the hotel.
"Okay, I'm not sure if that's his room, and I'm not sure if that's his car. But we're going to take the tire off his car here."
Bobby freaked out.
"no man this one won't work. We um, can't. What if we get caught?"
"It's fine man." Said tweak. "I have a gun." He opened up the glove compartment and showed Bobby his gun. That's when Bobby knew to be as nice as possible 'cuz last thing we need is for him to use that gun or something.
They got back into the car without the tire and tweak hit a car while driving out of the parking lot. Bobby gave him $10 for his trouble and owes me that now and had him drive back to the Super America.
Cops started circling the area and when Bobby went into the Super America he was told that they had been watching us and it would be in our best interests to leave the parking lot as soon as possible. So I tried to have one of my friends come and help us out, and we called a cab to take us to the Casino because we'd been sitting in that car for about 3 hours straight now and we need to get out.
So in the cab ride Bobby told the cabby our story and the cab driver felt so bad for us he gave us the ride for free. We got to the casino and played penny slots for a while and I continued calling for more friends until we were finally able to find someone to come and pick us up.
And that was the story of my great adventure on Sunday Night.
Dora's got nothing on that!
XOXO
Riah
Well, my friend Bobby was talking to me on Facebook and mentioned he was going on an adventure
"I think I may depart on an adventure shortly... Maybe."
"LOL yay adventure! Go Dora!" I responded
"Ha. Not quite dora. I have forty free bucks at mystic so I might just go use those. You're welcome to join if you'd like. I gotta be back by about 9"
I pondered the idea for a while....
"I've never been to a casino"
"Do you have a state ID?"
"Yup"
"Come out to the heights parking lot in two minutes."
"Okay. wait for me. I'm just gunna get dressed."
So I went out to the parking lot with Bobby and met him in his car. We started driving to Mystic Lake Casino all the way from Saint Paul. All of the sudden, Bobby's car starts to tilt and Bobby pulls off to the side of the highway.He get's out and looks at his car and the front tire is completely flat. He drives a block down to a Super America and into the parking lot.
Bobby looks at the tire again and it's totally shredded up. Bobby's spare tire was given to his mother about a week ago. He goes inside the SA trying to see if anyone could help but it's a Sunday night, there's no place to buy a new tire at this time of day on a Sunday. So when people with a five bolt car that's the right size came into the parking lot Bobby and I started asking around to see if anyone would help us out and we'd pay them for it but people were really unwilling to help a couple of stranded teenagers out. Meanwhile I called my grandmother to see if she had any ideas, then I called one of my friends that live in the area to see if he could help out but no luck either way.
I looked at Bobby "I really hope we get out of here soon. I am really scarred in the suburbs. People all think they should be afraid of the cities because of the gangs and such, but no I'm scarred of the suburbs. Gangs you know who they are when you see them and you know who to keep an eye on, but the suburbs have crazies and you don't know who the damn crazies are when you see them!"
Bobby laughed at this statement but as if to prove my point a huge suburban pulled up next to us and the guy rolled down his window. He was scrawny and pale and his eyes where horribly wide.
"Do you wanna buy something off us?" He asked. That moment I knew, he's a dealer. and from the way we was twitching I could tell he was also a tweaker. Bobby and I didn't get a chance to answer before the kid asked "Do you need any help?"
"Yeah," Bobby answered. "We need a spare tire. Think you could help us out?"
The tweaker kid jumped out of the car and was wearing a huge jumpsuit that could fit two more of him inside. He took a green light and flashed it into our faces.
"yeah yeah We can get you a tire. What'll you give us for it?"
"Thirty bucks." Bobby responded
"Ya got Fifty?" Tweak asked.
"No we only have thirty between the two of us."
"Alright well I got this one power tool. It can take a tire on an off instantly no problem. we're going to go look for a tire. and you try to see what else you can give us for it. Ya got a jack?"
"Yeah." Bobby said.
"Pop the trunk." Tweak commanded. Bobby popped the trunk and tweak yanked that jack out so quickly you wouldn't even know Bobby had it in the first place. Tweaker kid jumped back into his car. "We'll be back soon! Don't go anywhere! I mean it don't go nowhere!" and they were off.... with our car jack.
We took the license plate down of the car just in case.
"Bobby." I said. "they just took your jack. If they come back with a tire it's totally legit for us to assume that they stole it."
I continued to try calling friends and Bobby kept asking people in the parking lot if they had a spare tire they'd be willing to sell us. All of the sudden, the suburban pulled back into the parking lot and parked next to us. We thought for sure that if they had returned then they must have brought the tire.
The tweaker rolled down his window and looked at us. We rolled down ours as well. He stared at us for about 10 seconds not saying anything. Just starting.
"What up?" He finally answered.
"Hey." Said me and Bobby.
"So man, we found a friend who can get us a tire for ya. Just... Yeah you get in the car with me and we'll get the tire. I'll have my girl wait with your girl here and yeah we'll be right back.
Bobby agreed and was just about to get out of the car when I stopped him.
"Fake names." I whispered. "I'm Mina. What's yours?"
"Josh." He said getting out of the car.
The girl got in the car with me and she and I had a great conversation all about school, and how she hates the color green, and how apparently she's a prostitute.
A little while later Bobby and the tweaker came back and the hooker girl got out of Bobby's car and into the suburban. Not before exchanging numbers with me. the Suburban took off and Bobby got back into the car.
"We need to get the fuck out of here!" He said.
"Yeah I know." I said. Bobby was shaking at this point.
"No! We need to get the fuck out of here!"
Turns out while I was having a great conversation with a prostitute, Bobby got into the car with the tweaker and heard a growl behind him. Bobby looked back and saw a huge pit bull sitting in the back seat.
"Oh my god!" He yelled.
"Aw don't worry man that's just shooter. He doesn't like people."
They pulled into a hotel parking lot and got out of the car. Tweaker looked at Bobby and pointed to a room in the hotel.
"Okay, I'm not sure if that's his room, and I'm not sure if that's his car. But we're going to take the tire off his car here."
Bobby freaked out.
"no man this one won't work. We um, can't. What if we get caught?"
"It's fine man." Said tweak. "I have a gun." He opened up the glove compartment and showed Bobby his gun. That's when Bobby knew to be as nice as possible 'cuz last thing we need is for him to use that gun or something.
They got back into the car without the tire and tweak hit a car while driving out of the parking lot. Bobby gave him $10 for his trouble and owes me that now and had him drive back to the Super America.
Cops started circling the area and when Bobby went into the Super America he was told that they had been watching us and it would be in our best interests to leave the parking lot as soon as possible. So I tried to have one of my friends come and help us out, and we called a cab to take us to the Casino because we'd been sitting in that car for about 3 hours straight now and we need to get out.
So in the cab ride Bobby told the cabby our story and the cab driver felt so bad for us he gave us the ride for free. We got to the casino and played penny slots for a while and I continued calling for more friends until we were finally able to find someone to come and pick us up.
And that was the story of my great adventure on Sunday Night.
Dora's got nothing on that!
XOXO
Riah
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Magenta Justifed Destruction
I was 15 years old.
I honestly can't say I remember much about what happened that night,
My entire body was shaking as I walked through the doors.
They took my bag and went through my things to make sure I didn't have anything that wasn't allowed to. Knives, razors, pills. They took the metal scanner and had me lift my arms, take off my shoes, check my socks. These guys put the TSA to shame.
I was brought into a back room with a computer and the old woman told me to sit down.
I had to keep reminding myself to breathe twisting my ring around my finger.
She kept asking me questions.
"Do you smoke? Drink? How often? Cutting? what with? Do you burn yourself? Suicidal thoughts? Have you ever made a plan?"
All questions I hated saying yes to... Everything I had just confessed to my parents only a few hours before....
They returned to me some of my clothes, what they approved as safe, and took away my shoes and a few of my belongings, most of my jewelry and my belts and headbands.
They led me into a room. It was cold and everything was hard like a normal hospital room. There were no places where you could hide anything in there, everything was out in the open. I was given a book of many of the rules in there. "No swearing, Clothes must cover all scars, Respect staff direction, No touching." I filled out all of the paperwork and turned it into one of the nurses. 6 am. We can leave our rooms. I had been able to hear the kids next door to me for the past half hour already.
A small little red headed girl looks at me and smiles "Hey, what's your name?"
I try to think...
What is my name?
I'm not really sure... I can't figure it out.
"Magenta."
It came out of me involuntarily. I wasn't sure why I'd said it, but somehow it seemed so true, so real. I knew it was the right answer.
Magenta is the demon always trying to eat her way out. She's destructive and manipulative. She will destroy everything and everyone around her without a second thought for the consequences. Selfish and deceiving she'll make you feel like her destruction is a healthy way to cope with the trials the creates in the world around her. Yes, she is justified in some of her resentments and not everything that she deals with is caused by her own self loathing. But she tends to dig herself into a hole of hatred and despair only hoping for salvation in suffering.
I spent years trying to destroy Magenta. I committed suicide through her in order to build the girl I am today. Only one girl can live in this body but it needs to be the girl that can do it without destroying herself from the inside out.
Magenta isn't fully gone. Her ghost still lives inside of me. Sometimes I can feel her trying to climb out of the prison inside of me through the scars that masquerade as prison bars. But she isn't allowed out because I know that all she can bring to our world is destruction.
The girl you see before you can change the world and build it up instead of trying to break it down. It took 3 years for her to grow into who she is and now here she is standing before you today and she's stronger because of it.
XOXO
Riah
I honestly can't say I remember much about what happened that night,
My entire body was shaking as I walked through the doors.
They took my bag and went through my things to make sure I didn't have anything that wasn't allowed to. Knives, razors, pills. They took the metal scanner and had me lift my arms, take off my shoes, check my socks. These guys put the TSA to shame.
I was brought into a back room with a computer and the old woman told me to sit down.
I had to keep reminding myself to breathe twisting my ring around my finger.
She kept asking me questions.
"Do you smoke? Drink? How often? Cutting? what with? Do you burn yourself? Suicidal thoughts? Have you ever made a plan?"
All questions I hated saying yes to... Everything I had just confessed to my parents only a few hours before....
They returned to me some of my clothes, what they approved as safe, and took away my shoes and a few of my belongings, most of my jewelry and my belts and headbands.
They led me into a room. It was cold and everything was hard like a normal hospital room. There were no places where you could hide anything in there, everything was out in the open. I was given a book of many of the rules in there. "No swearing, Clothes must cover all scars, Respect staff direction, No touching." I filled out all of the paperwork and turned it into one of the nurses. 6 am. We can leave our rooms. I had been able to hear the kids next door to me for the past half hour already.
A small little red headed girl looks at me and smiles "Hey, what's your name?"
I try to think...
What is my name?
I'm not really sure... I can't figure it out.
"Magenta."
It came out of me involuntarily. I wasn't sure why I'd said it, but somehow it seemed so true, so real. I knew it was the right answer.
Magenta is the demon always trying to eat her way out. She's destructive and manipulative. She will destroy everything and everyone around her without a second thought for the consequences. Selfish and deceiving she'll make you feel like her destruction is a healthy way to cope with the trials the creates in the world around her. Yes, she is justified in some of her resentments and not everything that she deals with is caused by her own self loathing. But she tends to dig herself into a hole of hatred and despair only hoping for salvation in suffering.
I spent years trying to destroy Magenta. I committed suicide through her in order to build the girl I am today. Only one girl can live in this body but it needs to be the girl that can do it without destroying herself from the inside out.
Magenta isn't fully gone. Her ghost still lives inside of me. Sometimes I can feel her trying to climb out of the prison inside of me through the scars that masquerade as prison bars. But she isn't allowed out because I know that all she can bring to our world is destruction.
The girl you see before you can change the world and build it up instead of trying to break it down. It took 3 years for her to grow into who she is and now here she is standing before you today and she's stronger because of it.
XOXO
Riah
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